Building a Connection

Horses take the fragments of your soul and willingly piece you back together again. They would go to great lengths to keep us safe, so why shouldn't we do the same for them? If you are struggling to connect to your new or troublsome horse, there are a few things you could keep in mind while working with them.

First of all, your horse is probably just as frustrated as you are. If you're having issues getting him to respond to your cues when you're riding, try ensuring that you are being as clear as possible. Add on signals to those you are already applying. Sometimes a lot of leg is nothing compared to a light tap of your inside heel and a light crossover of the inside rein when bringing them to edge of the arena.

Often enough, we get frustrated and unofficially decide we've given up for the day. It happens to the best of us, so come on and admit too it. At that point, you're only going to end up creating a war with them, or letting them pick up bad habits, so call it a day.

Check yourself every now by letting your horse pull your reins. Horses have this beautiful, unspoken language with us that can very gladly to be used to your advantage, so long as you know how to use it. How you ask? Take a breath and just look your horse in the eye when you feel your anger boiling. Think about the little ways you can let them know what you want, and do those things, a reasonable amount at a time.

Whenever I begin riding with a super off day, I go through my mental list of possibilities.

~Did I have a bad day today?

Your horse can detect your emotions far and wide, and often feels how upset you are about your day prior to arriving at the barn, which can drive them to interpret this as you are upset with them. Perhaps they are acting on the emotions you are subconciously feeding to them.

~Is my horse hurting?

They may simply be sore from being overidden, or just feeling a little under the weather. I know that I certainly wouldn't want someone on my back when I have a cold.

~Who's fighting who?

If you're both being strongheaded about who should have the control at the moment, which I have tendancy to do with my horse quite often, hop off and cool down your temper. I frequently find myself getting so absorbed in fighting with her that I have to stop myself, and go hand walk her for a bit. Of course, I almost always end up sobbing into her muzzle and apologizing for being just as stubborn as she is. I don't know about you, but for me, fighting with my horse is worse than bickering with your own friends. Besides, it's generally not the horse's fault to begin with, yet we take it out on them.

Something I've been doing ever since i can remember, is thanking my horse everyday before I leave. Whether you rode a trail horse, your friend's horse, or your own, they gave you a day to remeber and cherish for eternity. Thanking them for that is perhaps my way of giving back to them, considering we domesticated them into all this in the first place. Besides, when you truly think about who has the upper hand, the 100 pound rider, or the 1,000 pound horse, you may come to realize that if they truly wanted to rebel against our so called authority, they could dominate us with ease. The fact that they don't, allowing us to climb on their backs and give them commands everyday instead of running wild is definetely something to be thankful for.